In the hands of the Capitol
by Johanna Klique
Summary: Peeta is left in the capitol broken, hijacked, tortured, and struggling to maintain sanity. In the capitol from Peetas eyes. This is my first story so I hope you enjoy it!
1. Chapter 1

_I do not own any right to the hunger games trilogy._

**chapter one: waiting**

I sit in a sickingly white room, brushing my fingertips anxiously against the smooth surface.

I stare at the white wall in front of me observing every detail I can possibly process, I think back to what happened in the arena, its almost to painful just to think about it, but I have to ... I need answers . I get up and start pacing the claustrophobic room , I am quick to sit back down, and I start to brush my fingers through my hair, gritting my teeth...

I just can't get the images out of my head, they haunt me. Katniss's arrow fly with Beetee's wire wrapped around the core, and the image that brings tears to my eyes causing the hot liquid to pour over my cheeks, Katniss's limp body in the claws of a hovercraft , her head dangling off the edge, hands hanging down so you can see the blood dripping down her arm.

Pain surges through my body,grief , depression, and much more pain that I couldn't possibly describe.

I couldn't save her, she slipped through my grasp,she's dead and I couldn't save her!. I am sobbing now.

After that, I blacked out , woke up in this room on a thin pad as a mattress laying on a small metal bed frame. It has only been three days, but it feels as if i've been here forever.

I haven't slept , have barely eaten anything that comes from the small slit that can only be opened from the other side. I start to pull my hair . It helps me from going into a complete meltdown.I stop and start to brush my fingers against the tiles again, just staring at the wall. Anything to distract myself.

I stay like this for what seems like an hour , but is most likely just fifteen minutes ,and to my surprise, the door opens , there are two peacekeepers.

The one to the left gestures me to get up. I take a minute to inspect them, every small detail , they each have a gun on their right hip and a pole with small spikes sharp enough to leave small puncture wounds in the skin .

The same peacekeeper as before gestures me to get up again, saying with the sharp hand motion " this your last warning" I get up only just now noticing the sharp pains in my thighs from sitting for to long.

I must have sat there longer than I thought. I get up slowly with small but heavy steps. When I reach the door each peacekeeper grabs one of my arms , leading me into a dimly lit hallway that smells of bleach.

This hallway is lined with metal doors , designed to keep whoever lies behind the door locked in.

We walk along the hallway for a little while before we reach an elevator,the peacekeeper on my right hand side reaches over and presses a small icon with an arrow pointing up, as we enter the elevator I immediatley notice mirrors on all four sides.

I look at myself greasy hair, sunken eyes , bags that are almost the colour purple under my eyes, it looks as if I have lost a few pounds,and there are scratches stretching across my face ,only to remind me once more about the arena.

I start to find as many distractions I possibly can, and I start staring at the flashing numbers as we reach floor eleven,we were on floor one before.

When we get out I discover we are just going down another hallway once more lined with doors .

I notice the numbers on each door, a different one on each door,and I only concentrate on the numbers ,causing us to go slower , the numbers are in the millions.

One of the peace keepers nudges me in the back with the butt of their gun signaling "go faster" I listen to the command I was silently given.

I start to pay attention to the clacks the peacekeepers feet make as they make contact with the ground, while mine barely lift up making a shuffling sound.

Their footsteps almost make a pattern, it's just one step every once in a while that throws off the pattern.

While I stare at our feet, we make a sharp turn , I whip my head up only to meet a door that is slightly larger than the other ones.

They open the door and I freeze as I notice the drastic change in temperature.

It has at least dropped by twenty degrees.

I get another nudge to get me moving , sending chills up my spine.

I feel the ice cold creep over my skin making me colder by the minute as we go further into the depths of this hallway.

we turn again, facing yet another door but this time it has two peacekeepers on either side.

The set of peacekeepers holding my arms quickly let go , just so the second set to grab a tight grip and push me into the room.

I cringe as I smell the strong scent of _roses._

**end of chapter.**

_Thank you for reading this chapter and I hope you will continue reading the following chapters._

_Thank you!._


	2. Realization

**Chapter two: Realization**

_Thank you to all who reads this fan fiction!. Please review._

I am in shock , I stand frozen , my feet glued to the ground,and the coldness wrapping itself around my body.

I stare like at him like prey to stunned to move. I am in the prescence of someone with great power, someone with just a few words can kill an entire district . _President_ _snow _. He looks at me with the a cold look of revenge.

I stare back, but not with revenge , but a look of hatred and fear. He took everything from me and I hate him for it but I don't want him to kill anybody else because of me, of what happend in the arena.

He is the predator , ready to tear me apart at any moment.

The predator is the first to speak , any word he says is deadly , poisened ,and one word he says results in death.

He says in a voice of pure hatred "I need answers Peeta ." he lingers on my name. I just stare, I don't respond. He took every thing from me, I don't have a reason to respond.

"And I think you have the answers I need" I still just stare back at him not saying anything, which seems to irritate him.

He looks at me harder this time his stare is more piercing , as if he can see right through me , and all of a sudden I feel exposed of everything and I know if I don't answer the next time he speaks, someone is going to get hurt.

"Now Peeta, lets cooperate." He says clearly with irritance " You had a plan from the beginning didn't you." He says, " No, I didn't" I respond.

He clearly thinks I am lying. " We both know you are lying Peeta". But I am not, the only plan I had was to keep Katniss alive and I failed .I respond " My only plan was to keep Katniss alive" I am close to tears now but I hold them back. A look of amusement passes on his face " You think Katniss is dead?".

I take a moment to realize what he is saying and it hits me, Katniss is not dead? , she has to be I saw her die, is it possible?, if it is I have to keep her alive.

" That wasn't our hovercraft, it was the rebels " . I am to stunned to speak, questions are rushing to my mind, is he lying? is she really alive?.

"Peeta"he says coldly, " Katniss is the face of the rebellion" . I just keep asking myself questions. Did she know about the rebellion plan?.

"Panem is in panick, Peeta, and you are the only one who can stop the rebellion".

But I don't want to stop the rebellion. The capitol is wicked and wrong they need to be stopped, and this is a chance for them to be stopped.

Snow gets up and slowley starts walking toward me. I stand there , still confused.

He is right in front of me, his disgusting breath smells of fresh blood and roses, flickers against my cheek, so I can feel his disturbingly hot breath.

He says in a terrifying whisper.

"And if you do not cooperate" I am petrified, barely even breathing. " I will kill Katniss".

* * *

I am back to where the capitol uses me, makes me to what their definition of beautiful is, Snow's tool,and I hate it. But I have to or they'll kill Katniss and I can't lose her again.

The beauticians pluck my eyebrows, make my teeth brighter, style my hair, soak me in liquid substances that I am not sure what are, paint my face, take it off and repaint,and try me in so many outfits I can't even remember which are which. But I don't complain.

They brought me back to my old headquarters, to stay, but I can hardly do anything at all . I am so broken I don't have a will to live except to keep Katniss alive. It's hard being there, because of the memories. Because they broke me to the point that I have given up on everything.

They are prerecording the interview and I don't know why,but I don't know a lot of whats going on.I have watched the recordings of the Quarter Quell a million times and I still don't understand anything at all. It just confuses me more. And I can't hold it together . The possibilty that Snow could kill Katniss at any time, so I distract myself by building houses with cards . It helps me hold it together.

The same set of peace keepers before lead me down stairs, still holding each arm.

They shove me into a sleek black car, with black leather seats. Each of the peacekeepers sit on either side of me.

They drive me to the President Snows house and bring me into his office where I see Ceasar Fickerman sitting in an awkward position, like he's scared to be within my presence.

Snow is right, Panem is in Panic.

As soon as I settle down in a chair across from Caesar the cameras turn on, they are on Caesar but they slowly largen so that all of Panem can see me , but I am looking at Caesar.

Caesar shifts in his chair to get more comfortable and looks at me for a while and finally says "So...Peeta...welcome back." I smile a little and say "I bet you thought you'd done your last interview with me , Caesar."

"I confess, I did," says Caesar "The night before the Quarter Quell...well, who ever thought we'd see you again?". It wasn't part of my plan, that's for sure," I say with a frown.

Caeser leans toward me a little. "I think it was clear to all of us what your plan was. To sacrifice yourself in the arena so that Katniss Everdeen and your child could survive."

"That was and simple." I say as I brush my fingers to trace the pattern on the arm of the chair. and I say "But other people had plans as well."

It is silent for a little while and I start to bring my eyebrows together causing lines between them, I am thinking about Katniss and the arena.

And then Caesar breaks the silence , bringing me back to my senses "Why don't you tell us about that last night in the arena?" suggests Caesar. "Help us sort a few things out."

I nod, but I take awhile supressing my emotions, remembering what happened, how it felt ,and to figure out how to describe it in perfect words.

"That last night . . . to tell you about that last night. . .well, first of all, you have to imagine how it felt in the arena. It was like being an insect trapped under a bowl filled with steaming air. And all around you, jungle. . . green and alive and ticking. That giant clock ticking away your life. Every hour promising some new horror. You have to imagine that in the past two days, sixteen people have died-some of them defending you. At the rate things are going, the last eight will be dead by morning. Save one. The victor. And your plan is that it won't be you. Once you're in the arena, the rest of the world becomes very distant, all the people and things you loved or cared about almost cease to exist. The pink sky and the monsters in the jungle and the tributes who want your blood become your final reality, the only one that ever mattered . As bad as it makes you feel, you're going to have to do some killing, because in the arena, you only get one wish. And it's very costly."

"It costs your life," Caesar says.

"Oh, no. It costs a lot more than your life. To murder innocent people?" I say " It costs everything you are."

"_Everything you are,"_ Repeats Caesar quietly.

And I know that I have affected Panem more than I thought I ever could, but I haven't finished.

"So hold on to your wish. And that last night, yes, my wish was to save Katniss. But even without knowing about the rebels, it didn't feel right. Everything was too complicated . I found myself regretting I hadn't run off with her earlier in the day as she had suggested . But there was no getting out of it at that point."

"You were to caught up in Beetee's plan to electrify the salt lake," says Caesar.

And I burst out "Too busy playing allies with others . I should have never let them separate us!. That's when I lost her."

"When you stayed at the lightning tree, and she and Johanna Mason took the coil of wire down to the water," Caesar clarifies.

"I didn't want to!" I say out of agitation " But I couldn't argue with Beetee without indicating we were about to break away from the alliance. When that wire was cut, everything just went insane.I can only remember bits and pieces . Trying to find her. Watching Brutus kill Chaff. Killing Brutus the lightning bolt hit the tree, and the force field around the arena . . . blew out."

"Katniss blew it out, Peeta." says Caesar" you've seen the footage."

I am automatically on Katniss's defense.

"She didn't know what she was doing. None of us could follow Beetee' s plan. You can see her try and figure out what to do with that wire." I snap back.

"All right . It just looks suspicious," says Caesar.

And I get up,walk over to his chair, put my hands on his chairs arms, and lean towards his face.I know I could get in trouble but I don't care. Katniss did nothing wrong.

"Really? And was it part of her plan for Johanna to nearly kill her? For that electric shock to paralyze her?To trigger the bombing?"

I am yelling now.

"She didn't know, Caesar! Neither of us knew anything except that we were trying to keep each other alive!"

Caesar puts his hand on my chest , to protect himself, and to say that he doesn't mean harm.

"Okay, Peeta, I believe you."

"okay." I reply.I sit back down in my chair and start brushing my fingers through my hair, calming my self down.

Caesar waits a second staring at me.

"What about your mentor, Haymitch Abernathy?"

My face hardens. " I don't know what Haymitch knew."

"could he be part of the conspiracy?" asks Caesar.

" He never mentioned it ." I say.

Caesar continues on. "What does your heart tell you?"

"That I shouldn't have trusted him, That's all."

Caesar pats my shoulder saying "We can stop now if you want."

"Was there more to discuss?" I say wryly.

"I was going to ask your thoughts on the war, but if you're too upset . . . " Begins Caesar. But I interrupt him saying "Oh, I am not too upset to answer that."

I take a deep breath,and look straight into the cameras, this is the part that I work on the Capitols behalf.

"I want everyone watching -whether you're on the Capitol or the rebel side - to stop for just a moment and think about what this war could mean. For human beings. We almost went extinct fighting one another before. Now our numbers are even fewer. Our condition more tenuous. Is this really what we want to do? Kill ourselves off completely? In the hopes that - what? Some decent species will inherit the smoking remains of the earth?

" I don't really . . . I'm not sure I'm following . . . " Caesar says only for me to cut him off saying "We can't fight one another,Caesar," I explain. " There won't be enough of us left to keep going. If everybody doesn't lay down their weapons - and I mean , as in _very soon - _it's all over, anyway."

" So you're calling for a cease-fire?" Caeser asks.

"Yes. I am calling for a cease-fire," I say tiredly and I say "Now why don't we ask the guards to take me back to my headquarters so I can build another hundred card houses."

Caesar turns toward the camera and says "All right. I think that wraps it up. So back to our regularly programming."

Just before the Peacekeepers grab me, Caesar looks at me with a look of pity and helplessness. Knowing that I am far gone.

The peacekeepers bring me to the car and drive away, but past the headquarters,and I am confused more than I already am.

They stop in front of a building that has gates and a security system. They push me out of the car and lead me to the door, going inside.

we get to an elevator and go down to negative forty five, obviously going underground.

We get out and enter a huge room where there are cages lined against the wall and torture equipment on the other.

I look in the cages as I look at this beaten girl huddled in the corner of her cage , I stare in horror as I recognize the face as,

Johanna Mason.


	3. Stitched mouth

**Chapter three: Stitched mouth**

**Hi! thank you if you going to read this story. Please review.**_  
_

**_Warning: This is were the torture begins and some emotional problems._**

The cold is breathing down my back. With each exhale is an excruciating pain, starting in the bottom slowly making its way to the top. The painful ice is creeping up my back in small splitting curls, causing tiny needle points to stab with an aggressive pressure.

My muscles are freezing over, like pouring liquid metal into my veins eventually hardening, making me paralyzed. My lungs are heavy, as if cold rocks are holding them down. And with each consuming breath, it's getting harder to breath, but then again, breathing? Is it even worth doing anymore?after all ,I am just another piece in their games.

* * *

I watch as they drag Lavinia out of her cell by her already bloody hands, a line of red follows them as she try's with all her strength to get away, but doesn't have much left. They laugh at the girl figure squirming to get away with the little flicker of hope she has left. She just groans an animal like grunt as they senselessly kick her, laughing a sickly laugh. I try to yell something but I can't, the achy soreness lines the surface of inside my throat from me screaming previously.

She has given up hope, and stops struggling. She lies there, just crying with her hair a tangled mess on her face. But they keep beating her, asking questions, but knowing she can't give them answers, because she can't speak,because her mouth is stitched shut with invisible thread that only she can see. Because all she can make out is a screech that sounds as if it is coming from an animal.

They throw her into a tank full of water. She knows what is coming next, so she curls up. And all I feel is pain, all kinds of pain, the one that is hopelessness, knowing that the torture only just begins , that with each tick of the clock it's going to get more painful for her, and you are hopeless to her, because you can't help her , nothing can anymore.

They do the first shock . She arches her back to an almost impossible bend, limbs strike in the most painful position they can, her mouth wide open with terror, eyes open to her absolute largest with fright , and her hair flying all around her in a red wild fire.

Then the heart monitor stops, her body goes limp, floating to the surface.

She is dead, her pain ends here.

I look at the one person who could understand her. The girl of no speech, he is the only one that understands that pain. Because he goes through it. The pain of being speechless. I watch as the tear rips down his cheek , because she was the one person who could understand him.

I watch Darius as he weeps in the corner of his cell. Watching each tear carefully , knowing that each one means something different to him.

The tears flowing over his bruised cheek, dripping on the floor. With each tear, another hope is lost , draining out of him, only to flow down his cheek, leaving traces, but not wet enough to stay, holding on to the edge, holding on until it can't anymore, it falls , breaks, scatters everywhere,and is now lost.

I cry for him,for Katniss, for my cowardice, and for anyone I cause pain to.

I search the faces held within this room. I look at Annie, the girl Finnick loves. She is crying, curled into a ball as tight as she can, rocking back and forth, her hands clasped over her ears, trying to get out, she trys to sing herself a tune, but it just comes out as sad little gasps.

I look at Johanna, She has lost hope in everything, you can tell, she stares at the ceiling, trying as hard as she can not to cry. She is broken, because she has nothing to love. They took it away from her.

I look at Enobaria, she glares, she wants revenge, to feel the blood of our tormentors dripping between her fingers , but she is weak, and can barely move without feeling pain coursing throughout her body.

We have been here two weeks . It is hard for me to digest this information, because it feels as if I have been here for a lifetime.

This place is the place where only pain lives. I have learned that there are many types of pain.

There are ones that tear you apart, and you have to piece it together in a slow and dreadful way. The one that is a dull ache in your entire being, but is just as painful as any other type can be, making you just want to die. Which I suppose could happen with any type of pain over a period of time.

There is physical where they slowly mutilate your body, but twisted words can do the same mentally. Making you hurt yourself ,but so can truamitizing pain .

I guess all pain can lead to the same thing, unless you are able to heal yourself in time. Before it gets to that point. And even then you are always left with traces of that pain.

I am torn , the situation I am in, I have endured all of this pain, I have been torn apart but can't piece it together. The dull ache which devours me whole. Physical, they are slowly splitting my skin, so it can heal and mold in a diffrerent formation.

And so is my mind very,very, slowly. And I have been traumitized over and over and over again. The only thing that even gives me a will to live , just the shred of a hope that will keep me going till the end. Katniss . She is the only thing that will keep me functioning. I need to live for her . So she can keep living and I know that even though she is not here, she is slowly breaking as well.

And I have to keep going for her even though it just tears me apart, because loving her is like being stabbed over and over. And even though she doesn't love me back, I will keep living for her, Even if it means watching pain, enduring pain, and losing a little bit of myself everyday. Even though it kills me slowly.

* * *

They come in the room with loud and heavy steps, going towards Johanna. They go in her cell and kick her to the ground while another pair go towards my cage . But they don't beat me, they grab each arm and lead me out of the dreadful room .With each step is an agonizing pain starting in my feet and shooting up my legs into my back.I look at my suroundings inspecting every detail as they lead me down the hallway.

I haven't been here in a long time. The memory is hazy in my mind.

So I have to inspect and search everything with my eyes darting in every direction to cram all the information into my mind.

They bring me into the same elevator as they did to bring me here. We reach floor negative twenty three, leading me down a white hallway with white medical doors. They bring me to a metal door with a window on this side of the wall . They shove me into a very small room where all the walls are white screens, and only one metal bed in the middle of the room.I am instantly scared, knowing this is a new form of torture and is somehow going to be more painful, but in a different way.

They push me down on the metal table as I try with the strength I have left to struggle, But I know I can't, not with these bruised hands.

They put strips of metal across my body and attach them to the other side of me.I a sound trys to come out of me but is stopped halfway up my throat, leaving me chocking on my own breath.

When they are finished they look at me and chuckle almost silently, as they are about to turn to the other side of the door they take a moment to look at me with eyes of which seem off pure fire set ablaze to its highest staring at me with fire burning through what I have left of a life, of what I cling on to, and they laugh with a grimace left upon their face. They turn around quickly and tend to their dutys.

I know what they are planning to do, they are going to take what is not theirs, What is mine and only mine, The tiny flicker that barely keeps me ablaze, they are going to break me till the point that I have forgotten what keeps me going.

* * *

It takes awhile to sink in and I can't accept it , not now I can't live without her, because without her , I am nothing.

The person who I suspect as the doctor comes in with a syringe full of a clear substance. I take a moment to realize that it will get harder and I will have to try my hardest to stay clinging on as he walks toward me. His steps are light and is not going to take a second to hesitate to continue what he is about to do, but I didn't expect him to anyways. He sticks the long needle into my inner elbow, pushing the liquid into my arm slowly, I start to get dizzy and his face is twisted as he leaves the room with an odd terrifying motion. He leaves the room and the screens flick on and all of a sudden I am in the arena again, but this time much more horrorifying .

**End of chapter.**

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